phaeshmae

redsector-a asked:

Yay! Congrats on 200!!! And here's to 200 more. :) As for a prompt (it's an oldie but a goodie and I don't think I've seen you do it, at least not officially?) - with it being the 4th and all the Cap mania I am inspired to ask, how about some pining Clint all convinced Phil will be all about/make a move on Steve now. Cap2 & AOS compliant or not - whatever you want.

phaeshmae answered:

I went for college!AU instead, I hope that’s okay! Everybody is so spread out and disjointed in canon verse that I feel like it’d take too much set up to work it there, idk.

He’s not jealous, okay? He’s not, because he has absolutely no reason to be. Phil’s his…well, Clint’s not entirely sure what his relationship to Phil is, but he does know what it’s not, and they are definitely not “Facebook Official,” whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean, no matter what Tasha says.

They just, uh, hook up. Sometimes. Nothing exclusive, nothing planned. Just when they both have some free time, and they happen to run into one another loitering in the dorm commons, or ducking out of a party for some fresh air, or when the class they share gets cancelled on the fly.

So it’s totally okay that Clint happened upon Phil on a coffee date with Steve Rogers. Admittedly, at the time, he froze up and slunk back out of the coffee shop before Phil could spot him. And yeah, he’s been ignoring Phil’s texts and has stayed holed up in his dorm room with the door locked so Phil can’t just walk in like he normally does. But that has nothing to do with something as petty as jealousy.

'Cause honestly, Clint's happy for Phil. He knows better than most all the reasons why Phil’s been crushing on Rogers for three years. He’s acted as Phil’s confidante after too many cups of spiked punch have left him smashed and chatty, waxing poetic about Rogers’ eyes, Rogers’ ass, Rogers’ smile. Clint’s the one that grabs Phil’s arm when his knees buckle whenever they walk past Rogers doing something so idyllically heroic like rescuing a kitten from where it’s stuck up in a tree. Clint knows that the only reason Phil fell into their whatever-it-is was because he needed the practice, didn’t want to risk Rogers kicking him to the curb ‘cause he was inexperienced.

Clint’s only ever been a stand-in until Phil could land the real deal. He accepted that fact right at the start, and luckily Phil was upfront about his intentions and said something before Clint had a chance to open his big mouth and spill the beans about how perfect Phil is and how he’s been a little bit in love with him since the day they met.

So no, he’s not jealous. The sick feeling that hit his stomach that day at the coffee shop was a lot more like heartbreak.

madmaudlingoes

moonblossom:

221cbakerstreet:

qwanderer:

thisisevenharderthannamingablog:

girl-farts:

kingcheddarxvii:

notviolet:

Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair

SHUT THE HELL U P

this man has gone too far

damn

Where does Marvel FIND these people?

Imagine - Chris Pratt and Jeremy Renner show up to your door the night of prom and your parents are like WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO DATES AND WHY ARE THEY SO BIG AND BEEFY AND INTIMIDATING but Chris is just like “Nah I’m hair” and Jeremy raises his hand and says “And I’m makeup”

surprisingly well done

If this doesn’t result in an AU where Hawkeye and Star-Lord decide to retire and open a salon together, I don’t know what we’re all doing with our lives.

madmaudlingoes

moonblossom:

221cbakerstreet:

qwanderer:

thisisevenharderthannamingablog:

girl-farts:

kingcheddarxvii:

notviolet:

Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair

SHUT THE HELL U P

this man has gone too far

damn

Where does Marvel FIND these people?

Imagine - Chris Pratt and Jeremy Renner show up to your door the night of prom and your parents are like WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO DATES AND WHY ARE THEY SO BIG AND BEEFY AND INTIMIDATING but Chris is just like “Nah I’m hair” and Jeremy raises his hand and says “And I’m makeup”

surprisingly well done

If this doesn’t result in an AU where Hawkeye and Star-Lord decide to retire and open a salon together, I don’t know what we’re all doing with our lives.